Monday, March 09, 2009
I'm Not In Right Now...
Here's an idea for an invention: A Carry-Around Answering Machine.
I've been inundated with requests for my time, lately. It's not just being a husband and a father, but someone whom everyone thinks is their "go-to" guy.
For some reason of late, I've noticed people using this theme in their conversations with me: "Bill, I have this great idea! Could you..." or "Bill, would it be possible if you" or the worst of all "Bill, could you come up with something for..." The last one is my favorite. It's not even a task for me to do. I'm being asked to come up with the idea of how to do it. Not only will my performance be judged, but the idea I came up with will be judged as well. Just great.
I think I'll just hide from the "Bill-Could-You" people. Lacking my ability to hide in plain sight, I'd like a Carry-Around Ansering Machine. It'll work just like a telephone answering machine, except it'll have a microphone and three or four messages buttons for me to press when I'm approached.
Here's how it would work:
"Dad, can you help me with..."
I press Button 1: "Sorry I can't come to your attention right now, but I'm busy watching TV. Please leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you during the next commercial break."
"Bill, sorry to interrupt..."
Button 2: "I'll be with you in just a moment. Please leave your plea for help at the tone, go somewhere else, and when I'm done making up things to do that have no significance whatsoever, I'll think about getting back to you."
"Bill, I have this great idea. Could you..."
Button 3: "I'm sorry but my in-box is full. Please try again later."
"Honey, did you remember to..."
Button 4: "Dearest Wife, Please leave a message..." (I'm not sure the machine would be playing anything coherent at this point as it would be lodged in my nether regions)