Tuesday, May 25, 2010

School's Out (Amen I say to you Amen)

The Recurring Dream

I walk into the class and take my seat. There's something wrong with the room. The students are looking at me oddly. Mr Theriot, my high school math teacher, enters and hands out the final exam. "What class is this?" I ask the student next to me. "Statistics," he says, "Where have you been all semester?" "I don't know... Oh God, I didn't come to class all semester and I have no idea what's on the test!"

We've all had this dream. Lately, I've been having it wide awake with my kids.

"Dad! Help me with my French homework!" Well, yeah, I did take French in high school and college. And yes, I was able to understand some of what went on during my trip to Montreal, but I'm no where near ready to help with homework. "Can you help me divide this binomial into this polynomial using long division?" May as well wake up now. This is a dream. Right?

Nope. It's your high school aged children trying to finish out the year.

I've got both a bachelor's and a master's degree. I'm done studying. I've done my time.

"Well, great," Mrs Bayou tells me, "You've got enough education to help the kids pass their tests..."

Script Idea:

Scene: Interior of a high school math class
Student: "Mr. Theriot? Am I going to need to know this after I graduate?"
Teacher: "Oh yes, Bill. You'll need to be able to help your children do this 30 years from now. Be sure to pay attention. This will be on the final. And on each of your children's finals. And your grandchildren, too."
Scene: Interior of a high school math class
Bill wakes at his school desk to find that the past 30 years of his life was a dream and realizes he hasn't studied for his test.

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